The kiss of deaf

Yesterday, I have read an amazing news story in a newspaper in the internet. It told about a chinese young woman who had become deaf after kissing passionately her boyfriend. Well, it scares, doesn't it?. Government should advice people that Kisses can seriously harm your health with labels like they do in packs of cigarettes.
In that article it is mentioned that it had not been the first case. The same damage had happened before. In that occasion, a mother suffered damages in her ear when was kissed by her little daughter. Then I read the article where this mother explained his experience that will be the subject of an upcoming medical journal report. She commented that all happened after her daughter, who was 4 at the time, gave her a hug and kissed her on the left ear. After the buss she was deaf, but when partial hearing came back, she heard noises in his head. Finally, two years after the incident, her problem seems to be remaining.
Doctors said that this is due to a pressure change that provokes the eardrum breakage. But the questions here are: What is in a kiss?, Is love harmful?, Is this another version of the kiss of death?.
Sorry, but I do not have these answers. However, I will ask you one more question: Will you take the risk?. I think you will.

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While I was reading these articles I learnt about the meaning of some English words. You can see them below.

eardrum

the tympanum, the membrane in the ear that vibrates to sound.

buss

kiss.

hug

embrace, a tight clasp with the arms.

You are allowed to laugh

I have found several funny stories that I hope you enjoy as much as I did. I have put the original version and then I have translated them to Spanish. This way, people who can not understand English will be able to perceive the joke and enjoy themselves.

Smart student

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family. A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."

El estudiante listillo

El profesor terminó la explicación de un importante proyecto de investigación para sus alumnos. Insistió en que este trabajo era un requisito indispensable para aprobar su asignatura, y que sólo aceptaría dos excusas como válidas. Estas eran una enfermedad certificada por un médico o la muerte de un familiar directo del estudiante. Un estudiante "listillo" al fondo de la clase levantó su mano y preguntó en voz alta: "¿Qué hay de un cansancio sexual extremo, profesor?"
Como puedes imaginar, toda la clase se partió de risa. Cuando los alumnos se habían calmado finalmente, el profesor dejó helado al alumno con su mirada.
"Bueno," respondió, "me parece que sólo tendrás que aprender a escribir con tu otra mano."

Smart blonde

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.
He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. "Hey, wanna play a game?" he asks her. "No thank you, i just want to take a nap." "Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that i ask you. If you don't know the answer, then you give me five dollars, and if I don't know the answer to your question, then Ill give you five dollars."
"I really don't want to do this. I just want to take a nap."
"Oh but PLEASE pretty please. Okay, how about if I don't know the answer to your question, I'll give you five hundred dollars." The blonde woman became interested and decided to play the game.
"Okay. How many moons does jupiter have?" the young man asked. The woman reached into her purse and took out a five dollar bill. "What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?".
The young man, determined not to lose, gets out his laptop and searches all over the internet for an answered. Flustered and confused, the young man hand the blonde five hundred dollars.
After a few hours, the young man was itching to know the answer to the question."What was the answer to the riddle?" the blonde woman reached into her purse and handed the young man a five dollar bill.

La rubia inteligente

Una mujer rubia embarca en un avión. Ella está muy cansada y sólo quiere echar una cabezada. Finalmente encuentra su asiento y se siente al lado de un joven muy curioso. Él quiere comprobar los tópicos acerca de las rubias y de paso ganar algo de dinero a su costa. "Eh, ¿quieres jugar a un juego?, le pregunta. "No, gracias. Sólo quiero dormir un poco". "Por favor, es muy fácil. Todo lo que tienes que hacer es responder a las preguntas que yo te haga. Si no sabes la respuesta me das un billete de 5 dólares y si yo no se la respuesta a tu pregunta te doy 5 dólares."
"No me apetece jugar, sólo quiero descansar.", le dice ella. "Oh, pero vamos guapa, por favor. Bueno, mira si yo no sé la respuesta a tu pregunta te daré 500 dólares". A la rubia le interesó el trato y decidió jugar.
"Vale. ¿Cuántas lunas tiene Júpiter?" le preguntó el chico. La rubia buscó en su bolso y sacó un billete de 5 dólares." "¿Qué cosa sube la montaña con tres piernas y la baja con cuatro?", preguntó ella. El joven, determinado a no perder, saca de portátil y busca por todo internet en busca de la respuesta. Contrariado y confuso, el joven le da los 500 dólares a la rubia.
Después de unas horas, el joven estaba inquieto por saber la respuesta. "¿Cuál era la respuesta al acertijo?" le preguntó a la mujer. Entonces ella metió la mano en su bolso, sacó un billete de 5 dólares y se lo dio al chico.

Medical problem

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."
Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

Problema médico

Una señora mayor entra en la consulta de su médico y le confiesa un problema embarazoso. "Yo hago eso todo el tiempo, Doctor Johnson, pero no suenan ni huelen. De hecho, desde que estoy aquí lo hice no menos de 20 veces. ¿Qué puedo hacer?".
"Aquí tiene la receta, Sra. Harris. Tome estas pastillas tres veces al dia durante siete dias y vuelva a verme dentro de una semana."
La semana siguiente apareció por la consulta la Sra. Harris enfadada. "Doctor, no sé que eran aquellas pastillas, pero el problema ha empeorado! Sigo haciendo lo mismo pero ahora huele fatal. ¿Qué tiene que decir?".
"Cálmese, Sra. Harris," dijo el doctor tranquilamente. "Ahora que hemos curado su sinusitis, nos ocuparemos de sus problemas de oído".

Bird's eye view

Today, I am going to tell about a tool available in the Internet. I think it can be very useful for people who live in Galicia. The address where is located this page sponsored by Xunta de Galicia (Galician Government) is http://www.xunta.es/visor/. I discovered it several years ago and it has been useful to me every once in a while. This page allows us to obtain maps and aerial views of any place all over Galicia. In addition, it provides two helpful applications for measure of distances and areas on the map or the aerial view. I have used these options to know how many kilometres I have run or to measure the area of some piece of land. And you can do it all sitting in front of your computer. Moreover, the measures are quite exact (I compare the results obtained in the page with the exact ones and the error margin was below 1%).
This page and its associated tools are more useful to real state business because it allows to identify every piece of land and obtain data about its owner. Sometimes, results obtained here can be not as reliable as they should.
People who live in other locations within Spanish territories in the Iberian Peninsula can use other version of this tool located in http://sigpac.mapa.es/fega/visor/.

Modern piracy

I've just read an article in an British newspaper about the recent ships captured in Indian Ocean by Somalian pirates. The journalist who wrote the story explains that the pirate who answered the phone sounded him more Captain Jack Sparrow than bloodthirsty Blackbeard. This almost comic opinion is likely because the pirates do not use to harm crew of vessels they seize. Although, this problem is rising fast and goverments and shipping companies are trying to solve it or minimize it as far as they can.
Several Goverments are sending warships to the zone to try to protect their ships from this plague avoiding that the last captures can be repeated and offering some security to the international trade, fishing, and other maritime activities developed in that zone menaced by piracy on last months. On the other hand, shipping companies like Maerks are changing the routes of their more vulnerable vessels to improve the security despite the rise of costs.
Some experts said that this actions will not solve the problem because the area to control is very wide and the source of the problem is the anarchy that rules Somalia. They propose that international organizations and goverments try to urge a change in Somalia's political situation.

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Comments:

I want to explain that I am using this blog as a way to improve my English writing skills, then I have to tell that while I was reading the article that I mentioned in this post and when I was writing previous lines I have learnt some new vocabulary. I am going to write a list below with the new words and expressions I have learnt.

• wreak havoc: to cause chaos or damage


• mangled: mutilated or disfigurated


• off: seaward


• ransom money: money demanded for the return of a captured person or property


• plunder: property stolen by force

Why do I start this blog?

This is the first time I write in a blog. The reason why I am doing this is because of a book I am reading this days. Its title is "Joomla! A User's Guide..." and it is helping me to understand how to develop great web sites quickly and easily. One of the chapters treats about how to create a blog with Joomla CMS, of course, and while I was reading it, I see a link to Blogger's site. Then I thought that it could be interesting to create my own blog and share my thoughts with everybody who wanted to read them.
I am Spanish, but I think it will be more educational for me to write the posts in English to practice my writing skills. I have been learning English for the last decade using all the resources I have access to. I have used the Internet to read articles, newspapers, magazines, books. Moreover, I have listened to online radios, TV news and series, movies, etc. I have taken advantage of every chance I had and I will continue doing it. In other post I will write about all the resources I can recommend to learn or improve English in an amusing way.
I will try to post regularly articles about things I consider interesting like English learning, tech issues, sports, amazing news, etc.

I have to say that it is very likely to find some mistakes in my articles but it is part of the learning process. In any case if you want to tell me about them you can write a comment and I will correct whatever was wrong as soon as I can. Thanks in advance.